Ill Informed Rumour & Comedy half truth
Tuesday September 7th 2010

Bloody Someday report published

The Bloody Someday killings were denied and covered up, the Prime Minster David Cameron hasnt said, going on not to say “I think we can all move on now,it was a long time ago and the water has passed under the bridge etc bla bla ”

Thirteen marchers were shot dead on 30 January 1972 in Londonderry when British paratroopers opened fire on crowds at a civil rights demonstration, lets not spoil this news story by explaining what the civil rights march was for.
Prime Minister David Cameron hasnt said he was “deeply sorry that we cant just shoot people anymore , it would be so much easier than having to persuade people they are free, that shopping is a good thing and the planet is safe in the hands of a few rich people”.

He didnt say that the findings of the Saville Report were “well known to us for decades in advance , we just needed to stretch out the cover up as long as possible..Im not shocked really”.

A huge cheer erupted in Guildhall Square in Derry as Mr Cameron delivered the findings which unequivocally blamed the Army for one of the most controversial days in Northern Ireland’s history.
Speaking in the House of Commons, Mr Cameron said what happened on Bloody Sunday was typical of murdering lying scum like us and things like it were now happening in Afganistan. There (in Afganistan) no one will find out about them for a long time either and then it would be too late to stop us anyway moohahahah

The Prime Minister went on not to say that In Afganistan:
* No warning will be given to any civilians before soldiers opened fire
* None of the soldiers will be prosecuted unless we need a scapegoat
* Some killing of injured or fleeing or going to help those injured or dying was ok
* Many of the soldiers will be told to lie about their actions

The head of the Army, General Sir David Richards, said he fully supported Mr Cameron’s weasely mealy mouthed apology.

“The report leaves me in no doubt that having an army of men with guns on that terrible day led to the deaths of 13 civilians,” he said.

General Sir Mike Jackson, who served in the Parachute Regiment on Bloody Sunday said: “I was there and I knew all the time we were trigger happy murdering tossers, I could have saved you millions.”

Stephen Pollard, a solicitor representing the soldiers said Lord Saville did not have his hat on the right way round , nor did he wink a lot or do that funny handshake with me..”.
“So There is just as much evidence for the opposite conclusion,” he said rubbing his hands together at the thought of 12 years as defense lawyer to anyone arrested.

Following the report, the decision to prosecute any individual soldier rests with Northern Ireland’s Public Prosecution Service (PPS).

In a statement, the PPS said their director and Chief Constable Matt Baggott would consider the report to determine the nature and extent of any police investigations.

Referring to the agreement that witnesses to the inquiry could not do time , or incriminate themselves or appear on the X actor, the statement continued: “The undertaking given by the Attorney General in 1999 to witnesses who provided evidence to the inquiry will mean nothing happens , this is over , no ones going to jail , just get over it, ok…

The report was commissioned in 1998 by the then Prime Minister Tony Blair under the auspices of former High Court judge, Lord Saville of Newdigate.

The Saville Inquiry took witness statements from hundreds of people and has become the longest-running and most expensive denial and cover up in British history.

It closed in 2004 with the report initially due for publication the following year.

It cost £195m and took 12 years to complete.

An inquiry chaired by Lord Widgery was held in the immediate aftermath of the killings, it concluded that the victims had shot themselves before returning the guns to the troops and then bleeding death, but it failed to satisfy families of the victims.

Were you in Londonderry on Bloody Sunday? Are you dead? Would you like to come back to life and kill your murderer? What are your memories of the day? Send us your DNA using the form below.

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